About us: Dave
Dave was "born and raised" in the church and accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior at a youth retreat when he was 14. At age 17 he started backsliding after graduating high school and attending college. Alcohol led to drugs and sexual immorality. In 1977 he met his future wife, Karen, and they married in 1979. Through the years he continued to go through periods of backsliding and then getting right with the Lord, but never allowed Him complete control over his life.
In 1997, with the power and anonymity of internet chat rooms, he allowed himself to fall into the sin of lust and immorality. He cheated on his wife, not once, but twice. While neither was a physical relationship, it was adultery nonetheless.
The first one ended when he confessed it to her, and promised it would never happen again. She forgave him, and they buried it. He was good for his word for awhile, but fell back into it, and again wound up in another relationship.
During that time, he and Karen were very involved in church. Dave was on the praise and worship team, prayed in front of the congregation on more than one occasion, was in Bible studies, and led a few classes. He took notes during the sermons and underlined in his Bible, giving all the outward signs of a holy, righteous man. But he knew better. He had been involved in this area of sin off and on over a 10 year span. And he wanted out. There were times guilt would overpower him and he would run away from it, only to be drawn back. Over the final 2 years Dave prayed to God to help him end it and not let anyone find out. He prayed countless times for God to end it for him. Finally, God answered his prayers... mostly. On the last Saturday of October 2007, Karen discovered his secret. Unlike the first time, however, this did not stay hidden. She told their children and she told her family. He feared this was the end of his marriage and his family.
Dave did not want this to end his marriage; he wanted to be free from this sin and be clean. He wanted to show her he was serious about repenting and wanted to do everything he could to prove to her that he would change. And he knew he needed help. He called his best friend and confessed to him. He then called his brothers and sisters and confessed to them. He confessed to his Bible study group and to some of the men on the worship team. He also confessed to three Christian brothers he works with so he could be held accountable while at work. He began going to counseling alone, but could not find anything that relied totally and 100% on the Word of God.
He met with one of his pastors, Beau, and began counseling alone with him. On Beau's recommendation he enrolled in Setting Captives Free "The Way of Purity".
Dave says "By keeping this a secret between Karen and me, it remained secret. Hidden. In the dark. And that's where I blew it. I tried to rely on my own strength and lost. Please don't make that mistake. Yes, confession hurts. Exposure is painful. Repentance is humbling. But considering an eternity separated from God, these are small prices to pay. You cannot defeat the power of sin on your own strength. Only the Truth can set you free!"
Dave has been free from sexual immorality and all habitual sin since 2007. He and Karen live in Tucson, Arizona, and have 4 grown children. He is a mentor for Setting Captives Free and leads the Men's Accountability group at his church. He works in the software industry, and she is a homemaker, who actively counsels women who have been hurt by this sin, and she also serves in this ministry.